• About Amy
  • Schedule an appointment
  • Services
  • Testimonials
    • After weeks of frustration, luckily, I had the pleasure to work with Amy
    • Pain that woke me at night
    • Swam to some season best times at the state meet!
  • New Client Intake Forms
  • BioMat
  • Young Living Essential Oils

InnerG.work

(317) 447-1548
[email protected]

Schedule online now

Blame it on my ADD part 1

ADHD letters

If you watched the video…this might give you a hint as to how my mind can work. I feel as if I’m running away.  Running away from my thoughts, fears, anxiety.  This is part of the reason I stay very busy.  The good thing is, I don’t mind being busy!  I really LOVE it!  Maybe it is a coping mechanism?  Could choose a worse one….

The other good thing is that I don’t want to kill myself or drown in a tub!  And…I see sunshine just like the kid did in the end of the video.  I love life!

I was diagnosed with ADD during my fourth year of college.  I didn’t really take this “diagnosis” seriously.  All of those crazy and racing thoughts, chronic procrastination, and the need to be on the go, were just part of who I was, or…should I have blamed it on my ADD?

Deep down, I already knew this.  School had always been a struggle for me and I was very disorganized. The cubbie under my desk was crammed full of old graded papers and I could never find anything.  Many days I dreaded going to school because I didn’t have my homework done, or, I wasn’t prepared for tests.  The “play sick” skill had been mastered.   Slapping my cheeks to look flushed, putting the thermometer by my light bulb to produce a fever, and even producing fake tears were part of the trick.

 My poor Mom…  It almost tickles me now, as I am raising a son with ADHD and see the same behavior.  He doesn’t fool me like he may think, as I know the behavior well!  I OWN it:)

My parents pulled me out of the public school system after third grade and sent me to a private Catholic school where I would have more one on one attention.  This may have helped raise my D’s and F’s to C’s?

Did I get off track?  What was I talking about?  Oh yes….ADHD!  Just so you know, I completed High School and went on to college.  I remember my college prep counselor in High School having a talk with me about what I wanted to do after High School.  I told her that I wanted to be a Physical Therapist and she said, “Oh dear, you just don’t have the grades that it takes to pursue something like that.”  That was encouraging!

Of course, like many others, AD/HD or not…I did great in the courses that I enjoyed.   It’s to bad that in College, we can’t just take the courses that are applied to our major!  Instead,  we have to fulfill a certain amount of hours and take all of these electives spending all kinds of money.  The traditional four year college degree is NOT for everyone!  I’m not regretful that I attended college for four and a half years despite the fact that I left with no degree, and, many hours left in order to get one.

In all seriousness, I may have avoided some crazy times had I not gone to college, however, I would have missed out on many important things (life lessons) and people.  I’m glad I went.  Go EIU!

My college career finally came to an end when I had a panic attack in my abnormal Psych class.  Yea…probably not the best career for me.  I chose to drop out and pursue Massage Therapy.

So years later, many “air headish” moments, and a Divorce that I DID NOT expect…I found my attention and focus to be really unmanageable!  Of course, anyone would have a tough time focusing if their husband had an affair out of the blue and left you with a two year old.  Everyone was shocked over this!  TOTALLY shocked!

Everything happens for a reason!

Am I still talking about ADHD or marriages gone awry?  I could easily swith topics, as I have a lot to say about the latter.

So, I met this guy on eHarmony a few years later.  Ahhh….Love the guy!  This story will wait for a different blog post because it is a neat tale to tell.  I’m just giving a time line as to when I was given diagnosis #2 for the AD/HD thing.

My brain wasn’t dealing well with the new life/ adjustments.  Previously, (before marriage #2), my life was….Single Mom of one son, very independent, extremely social, involved in everything, and owned my own successful business as a Massage Therapist.  Then, my life went to…. Mom of three sons, with a Husband who traveled a lot, living in a much bigger city and much bigger house, not knowing anyone, as a stay at home mom!  NO WAY was that working for me or my active mind!  Please note that I was and still am very lucky and grateful to have been in that predicament.  It was just bad timing, no gradual adjustment, and not a good fit for my active mind and particular circumstances at the time.

My sleep was off, I was exhausted, yada yada yada…I did a sleep study and I was waking up approximately 45 times an hour.  I was OFF!ADHD quote

The sleep doc decided that I was “hypervigilent”.  Ready for action and not allowing myself to go into a deep sleep!   I went in for some suggested cognitive/neurological testing and sure enough, after 4 hours of verbal, written, and computerized tests…it was official.  I had the ADHD diagnosis.   FULL BLOWN ADHD!  This time, the diagnosis was different.  I cried.  The report was long and made me sad.  I had been living my whole life like this.  My brain was on constant overdrive…my thoughts were way ahead of my words, I was in fight or flight all of the time.  I couldn’t focus people!  I had to move, I felt uncomfortable sitting still. BTW…still do:)

The Following information is from an article from the ADDitude magazine….

“The ADHD nervous system, is a unique and special creation that regulates attention and emotions in different ways than the nervous system in those without the condition.

Those with the condition don’t have a shortage of attention. They pay too much attention to everything. Most people with unmedicated ADHD have four or five things going on in their minds at once. (THAT IS ME!!)

Everyone with ADHD knows that they can “get in the zone” at least a few times a day.

Einstein and ADHD quote

ADHDers know that they are bright and clever, but they are never sure whether their abilities will show up when they need them. The fact that symptoms and impairments come and go throughout the day is the defining trait of ADHD. It makes the condition mystifying and frustrating. ( I CONCUR;)

People with ADHD primarily get in the zone by being interested in, or intrigued by, what they are doing. I call it an interest-based nervous system. Judgmental friends and family see this as being unreliable or self-serving. When friends say, “You can do the things you like,” they are describing the essence of the ADHD nervous system.  (Totally true!!!!)

ADHD individuals also get in the zone when they are challenged or thrown into a competitive environment. Sometimes a new or novel task attracts their attention. Novelty is short-lived, though, and everything gets old after a while. (this sounds familiar)

Most people with an ADHD nervous system can engage in tasks and access their abilities when the task is urgent — a do-or-die deadline, for instance. This is why procrastination is an almost universal impairment in people with ADHD. They want to get their work done, but they can’t get started until the task becomes interesting, challenging, or urgent. ” ( Yep, Yes, Right on!)

Over the years I have gone back and forth on my opinion of the AD/HD diagnosis.  Is it real?  Is it just bad parenting, life circumstances, bad genes, a label?  Doesn’t EVERYONE have a level of inattention or focus issue?  Yes probably.

The difference however, is that The AD/HD mind has so many other characteristics that are so very positive.  When under pressure…I can do 1,2,3,4 and 5.  I tend to remember things and be able to get it all put together.  I’m also very creative and can come up with ideas that are in a waiting line to get out of my brain. haha

I do agree that the ADD/HD label has been a bit “over done”.  Throughout my years of researching and studying the AD/HD, anxiety brain…I have come to believe that we can change our behavior.  We can alter how our genes “express” themselves. Just as someone with Autism or even addiction can.  Some people can’t assimilate certain nutrients that are vital for brain health. Some people don’t produce glutathione…  Again…this topic will have to be another post.  Very interesting information!

I wanted to share this with you, as I have been made fun of by both family and friends for most of my life for being “flightly”, “air-headish”, I talk to much, etc.  I’ve laughed along with them, and REALLY have had “flightly” moments!  So what right?  Well, deep down, it does begin to wear on a person. AD/HD people are extra sensitive to criticism and we may be told we are being “over-reactive” or “unreasonable” for feeling the way that we do.  What if we can’t help feeling that way?  Something to consider….

Some of the most brilliant and talented people have been diagnosed with AD/HD.  Let’s look at the good in the ADDer!  Who cares if they can’t write like a Private school Master’s degree scholar?  Who cares if they don’t have perfect punctuation? Who cares if they don’t use big fancy words to try and make themselves “appear/sound smart”.  Is that shit really important?  Really?   What is important?  That is for you to decide……

For now….I choose to blame it on my ADD Baby!

FAMOUS PEOPLE WITH ADHD

Read more on “Secrets of the ADHD Brain” Here

Article “Attention Defecit Disorder in Adults – ADHD

Adult ADHD-Taking control of your symptoms

Please have compassion for those who may seem like they are “to busy for you”, take things out of context, interrupt, talk to much, seem scattered or anxious, aren’t grounded (my favorite;)  Until you have been in their shoes (or mind)…you don’t know what they may be going through.  You probably wouldn’t want to either. 

Have a great weekend with your friends, family and AD/HDer’s!

Peace and Love

~Amy

 

AD/HD ADD/ ADHD/ anxiety/ blame/ diagnosis/ fear

Comments

  1. Patty says

    February 21, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    ADD is the demon that has contributed to my feelings of inadequacy . i know it is hard for those around me to understand and it is frustrating because it is often an imposition on them when I am constantly forgetting my keys, purse, everything. There have been several times we have had to drive many miles out of the way to turn around and retrieve something I have forgotten because I was thinking of the fifty other things I needed to remember! Everything came to a head when I forgot to remove my phone when I was visiting Justin. When I thought that I could have gotten him in serious trouble by my actions I was devastated. It led me to a lot of introspection and self discovery. Realizing I was not an idiot and letting go of some of the fear of appearing to be, has helped but it is a daily struggle hampered by my lack of follow through when I get distracted by some other important thing. How can I just forget to make the bank deposit i went out for? How do I stop my brain from following a different path on the drive there and before I know it , I am almost home and did not go to the bank. But as i was driving I did think of the carpet that needed to be cleaned because of an old cat and the parts I needed to fix the tub. So, I came home with a carpet cleaner and tub parts and had not planned to get either on that trip, but had to go back out to the bank! This happens many times a day. I used to tell white lies sometimes to keep from feeling so stupid when I did something like this? I decided that God did not want me to do that and made the decision to just be honest. Sometimes it seems so incredulous I know people think I am making it up. They think I just don’t care if I am late or don’t believe it took me thirty minutes to find my keys . . . on top of the dryer! Everyone has tips on being organized. If only they worked for longer than a month 🙂

    Reply
    • Amy Buckles says

      February 23, 2015 at 5:17 am

      Patty,

      Thank you for commenting. I appreciate your honesty.

      Here is a good one for you….I just spent over a half an hour replying to your post, and then deleted it by accident!

      I’ve had so many unbelievable moments of frustration that I could write a book on it! “How I looked for my keys for fifteen minutes before realizing they were in my hand”, “How I’ve gotten lost hundreds of times, driving to a place I’ve driven to a hundred times”, “How I’ve lost track of time at the grocery store and have had to leave a cart full of groceries so that I wouldn’t be late to pick up a kid!”. Yes…that would be me! Can’t believe I’m admitting to all of that.

      Anyway, we have to learn to accept ourselves as we are. We also need to forgive ourselves for doing things that seem irresponsible to others, when it really isn’t about that.

      I’ve been working on setting boundaries. That is very difficult! Just taking baby steps for now, not to get overwhelmed.

      Thanks again for sharing Patty. Be easy on yourself and know that you aren’t alone.

      Love and Peace,
      ~Amy

      Reply
  2. Patty says

    February 21, 2015 at 12:16 pm

    Sorry for the long post. I am not sure how blogs are supposed to work. I know it is not about me but you struck a chord and it is nice to hear from others who understand.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Blog

  • Voila Method meets Lexi Len and the Strangers!
  • Workplace Wellness with Essential Oils
  • Does your movement need Improvement? Voila
  • Rain and pain
  • Reasons for hope for Fibromyalgia & ME/CFS Recovery – Guest Post by Dan Neuffer

Amy Buckles

Highly motivated in finding contributing sources of pain, to help facilitate true healing at its core.

    • Licensed by the Ohio State Medical Board of Massage Therapy in 2000
    • Certified by the State of Indiana
    • Active member of the American Massage Therapy Association
    • Solid networking with other Health Professionals to offer clients a sound treatment plan
    • Ongoing continued education
    • Voila Method of Structural Joint Balancing - Certified
    • NKT (Neurokinetic Therapy) Level I certified, working towards NKT Level II certification
    • Brain-Move-applied neuroscience
    • Years of experience in the planning and organization of Corporate On-site chair massage

    Bring Wellness to your Workplace with tools to empower your employees

    • Self-Care
    • Corporate BioMat rentals/sessions

    Contact innerG.work if you are Ready to get Balanced and aligned in Mind, body, and spirit!

    read more

  • Specialized Bodywork

    Amy is extremely motivated and passionate in helping her clients achieve the best outcome. With ongoing continued education and knowledge obtained from some of the leading experts in the Massage, Bodywork, and Movement industry...Amy's clients will be sure to receive a thorough assessment and treatment plan to address the body as a whole. In Mind, Body and Spirit.

    read more

    Biomat

    The FDA approved BioMat combines infared heat, negative ions, and amethyst crystals. These three powerful health simulators work synergistically providing remarkable healing properties.

    Most services at innerG.work include the BioMat. This enhances the effects of your treatment and promotes healing from the inside out!

    read more

    Young Living Essential Oils

    Pure, unadulterated essential oils play an important role in defending against disease and harsh environmental conditions.

    innerG.work incorporates essential oils in most services offered and offers education on how to incorporate these quality oils into your lifestyle for a healthier and happier family.

    read more

    I assure you that you are in good hands

    I was a washed up fifty two year old pitcher still trying to make it in the big leagues, and as predicted three weeks into the baseball season my arm was hanging off my shoulder. As I was pondering my third retirement speech I remembered a project one of my student’s did on a massage View Full →

    Larry Abed

    2015-01-14T21:18:59+00:00

    Larry Abed

    I was a washed up fifty two year old pitcher still trying to make it in the big leagues, and as predicted three weeks into the baseball season my arm was hanging off my shoulder. As I was pondering my third retirement speech I remembered a project one of my student’s did on a massage View Full →
    http://massagefitbyamybuckles.com/testimonials/i-assure-you-that-you-are-in-good-hands/

    Her skills and Practice are a great asset

    My wife and I have enjoyed massages for many years and in different venues in the U.S., overseas, and on-the-seas, so we have acquired a lot of experience in judging the skills of massage givers, male and female. It is very gratifying to be able to report that five years ago we met Amy soon View Full →

    Tom and Betty Graffis

    2015-01-14T21:23:25+00:00

    Tom and Betty Graffis

    My wife and I have enjoyed massages for many years and in different venues in the U.S., overseas, and on-the-seas, so we have acquired a lot of experience in judging the skills of massage givers, male and female. It is very gratifying to be able to report that five years ago we met Amy soon View Full →
    http://massagefitbyamybuckles.com/testimonials/you-go-girl/

    I recommend Amy for any type of massage…

    I recommend Amy for any type of massage, essential oils, and her wonderful biomat! She is a very talented massage therapist who will work diligently to solve your soft tissue pain and dysfunction.

    Heather Arlinghaus, PT

    2015-01-14T21:30:47+00:00

    Heather Arlinghaus, PT

    I recommend Amy for any type of massage, essential oils, and her wonderful biomat! She is a very talented massage therapist who will work diligently to solve your soft tissue pain and dysfunction.
    http://massagefitbyamybuckles.com/testimonials/i-recommend-amy-for-any-type-of-massage/

    After weeks of frustration, luckily, I had the pleasure to work with Amy

    “As a competitive athlete over the last 20 years including 2x Ironman finishes (140.6) I have had my share of injuries and have battered my body along the way. After a huge race season in 2013; including two half Ironman distance triathlons (70.3) my body had taken a beating and I was badly injured and View Full →

    Douglas Trumpey

    2015-01-14T21:31:36+00:00

    Douglas Trumpey

    “As a competitive athlete over the last 20 years including 2x Ironman finishes (140.6) I have had my share of injuries and have battered my body along the way. After a huge race season in 2013; including two half Ironman distance triathlons (70.3) my body had taken a beating and I was badly injured and View Full →
    http://massagefitbyamybuckles.com/testimonials/after-weeks-of-frustration-luckily-i-had-the-pleasure-to-work-with-amy/

    She is extremely personable and professional!

    Amy came recommended to our Firm from another massage therapist and we couldn’t be happier! She listens to each employee and addresses their specific points of tension. She is extremely personable and professional! On a personal note, Amy went above and beyond to research a personal issue for me and make sure that everything I View Full →

    Amy Urbanski, MBA, PHR

    2015-01-14T21:32:41+00:00

    Amy Urbanski, MBA, PHR

    Amy came recommended to our Firm from another massage therapist and we couldn’t be happier! She listens to each employee and addresses their specific points of tension. She is extremely personable and professional! On a personal note, Amy went above and beyond to research a personal issue for me and make sure that everything I View Full →
    http://massagefitbyamybuckles.com/testimonials/she-is-extremely-personable-and-professional/

    BEST MEDICAL MASSAGE THERAPIST in Indianapolis

    Amy is one in a million at delivering effective medical massage in a delicate manner. The results I received after one session led me to consider Amy Buckles the BEST MEDICAL MASSAGE THERAPIST in Indianapolis. I do not say this lightly as there are several decent massage therapists available in Indy. Amy is set apart View Full →

    Virginia Biasizzo, NDTP

    2015-01-14T21:33:43+00:00

    Virginia Biasizzo, NDTP

    Amy is one in a million at delivering effective medical massage in a delicate manner. The results I received after one session led me to consider Amy Buckles the BEST MEDICAL MASSAGE THERAPIST in Indianapolis. I do not say this lightly as there are several decent massage therapists available in Indy. Amy is set apart View Full →
    http://massagefitbyamybuckles.com/testimonials/est-medical-massage-therapist-in-indianapolis/

    She is also great with kids

    I have been seeing Amy for the past couple years for massage therapy. Sitting in front of a computer all day leaves me with a stiff neck and often a sore back. Amy has been amazing, helping me relieve pain, tension and stress. She really knows her work and does a great job! I’d see View Full →

    Krissa Hatfield

    2015-01-14T21:34:42+00:00

    Krissa Hatfield

    I have been seeing Amy for the past couple years for massage therapy. Sitting in front of a computer all day leaves me with a stiff neck and often a sore back. Amy has been amazing, helping me relieve pain, tension and stress. She really knows her work and does a great job! I’d see View Full →
    http://massagefitbyamybuckles.com/testimonials/she-is-also-great-with-kids/

    Resources

    Copyright 2014 Massage Fit By Amy Buckles

    MENU
    • About Amy
    • Schedule an appointment
    • Services
    • Testimonials
      • After weeks of frustration, luckily, I had the pleasure to work with Amy
      • Pain that woke me at night
      • Swam to some season best times at the state meet!
    • New Client Intake Forms
    • BioMat
    • Young Living Essential Oils